Healing.

Ten years.  Lots of prayers.  I practice simply holding my former principal in my mind's light.  I want to love him, for surely he needs that.  Ten years.  It's taken me a long time to even hold him in my mind without bitterness.  Hold, actually, school board members and a school superintendent in my mind's quiet.  To write here and now--simply write the words--that they know him.  They know his history of abuse.  They allow it to continue.  

These are simple truths.

I have, in the past, written of their knowledge. Yet the words are very different for me now.  Then they were wounded and scared words.  Pleading for help.  Now they just are.  They just are truth.  There is no emotion wrapped around those words.  No fear and outrage.  No blame.  

No bitterness.  For I no longer suffer.  Still, it's taken a long time to get here.

Today I picture him.  I quietly allow him to rest in my mind.  I surround him with light.  This is important for me.  I have allowed my suffering.  I have allowed him to control me and my emotions. I want to be at peace with him.  And so.  There he is in my mind's light.  I hold him there, still.  His arms at his sides.  Hands open.  

I feel sadness for him.  For certainly he is an unhappy man. Insecure.  Vulnerable.  And it is my nature to help.  I want to help him.  If he reads A Piece Full World, I want him to know I forgive him.  I wonder if that helps.  If he feels any remorse at all about what he has done.  To me.  To so many others.  

"Mr. O, you are important to me.  You are important in ways different than when we met.  Then you were my boss.  In 2009 I quickly understood my vulnerability under your leadership.  Now in 2019, I understand yours."

I write all of this for those bullied educators just entering the common and sick arena of bullying cronyism in schools. It is frightening, I know.  It may mean so many losses for you.  But what has put you in this arena is your integrity.  Your honor.  Your courage.  

And the truth.