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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Headsssssss Up. The Two Headed Sssssssnake.


Hey all.  I hope you've had a great (and "bully boss" free!) week..... See if you recognize this "Mr. Bully Boss."

The Two Headed Snake Bully Boss, on the one head, excuse me, I mean hand- minimizes an employee’s contribution and works at diminishing her self-esteem. On the other head.... so sorry, I mean hand!-takes credit for her work. Oh no……here he comes again.

(Enter Mr. Bully Boss with his cell phone)

B.B.-Ahhhhh, sssssssweetheart, you know how much I sssssssupport your work. Ummm, ah, just what are you doing?

M.E.- well….I am presenting on how to identify and prevent bullying leadership. I understand how important effective leadership is for children and employees of schools to truly feel safe.

B.B. (makes a phone call)- Hello Region Legion? Yes, this is Bully Boss. Yes, that’s right. Right now in fact I am leading a seminar for my colleagues on how to identify and prevent bullying leadership. I understand how important effective leadership is for children and employees of schools to truly feel safe.......why, thank you! Yes, it is an important topic--and timely I might add.

M.E.- What?!!! You are taking credit for my work! Why do you treat me so contemptuously and disdainfully?

B.B.-Hello! Sssssssweetheart! I’m a ssssssnake! Ssssssso what that I make fun of your efforts in private! It’s all about me! Because of my fragile and inflated ego, I will do anything to look good to my bossssssssessssssss.

M.E. (perkily)- Oh! Well that does make sense! Thanks! (to M.Y.self) I wonder what effective leadership looks like?

(cue for Captain Effective Leader with his cell phone)

C.E.L.- Hello? Region Legion? Yes, this is Effective Leader. Yes. Right now I am participating in a seminar about how to promote effective leadership. Hmm? No, although I fully support her efforts, this is Ms. Werner’s idea-not mine.

M.E.-(to M.Y.self)-wow.........Captain Effective Leader, why do you treat me so respectfully and thoughtfully?

C.E.L.- Because I am confident. Because I trust that I have put people in place who want to do their very best. Because I know that when I help you do your best, I do my best. Thanks again Kim.

Next up--The Constant Critic.  Until then stay strong.  Stay informed.  You are not alone.  We're in this together.


6:11 pm edt          Comments

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

We Begin. The Screaming Mimi.

I totally get how the anguish-the emotional ambush-the desolation- of work place bullying-and leaving it behind- can lead to creativity. While on my leave from work and after researching workplace bullying (love the Namies’ website!) I created a play. I didn't know I had it in me. Just a rainy afternoon led to this. I had fun. I hope you do too. I laughed. I hope you do too. I hadn't laughed with such mirth for a long while. So, here we go-I present to you- Mr. Bully Boss and Captain Effective Leader starring in…..

Ouch! Are You A Bully Boss!?

Our story begins as the brutish Mr. Bully Boss, in pursuit of universal domination of all things everywhere (or at least domination of all females working for him!) attempts through nefarious means to have limitless power through acquisition of the all powerful “Key to Effective Leadership”! Nothing will stand in his way! He has formed alliances with the lethal “Region Legion” (think bosses of bosses of bosses!) and is thus aided in his unscrupulous pursuit. Our Mr. Bully Boss was raised in Bullyville-a place of snarling and sniping, lies and litigiousness (that’s lawsuits for us lay people). And frankly my dear,-HE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN!

(Enter Mr. Bully Boss)

Mr. B.B-“See? It’s not my fault! There’s nothing I can do about my lack of empathy, my cruelty, my capricious control or my arrogance. I see nothing wrong with preying upon people who work for me. So what if I see employees as objects to make me look better?! So what if I suck up to my superiors?! I’m smarter than everybody else! Can I help that? People should know better than to stand in my way. I have a reputation of scaring people to uphold. And by golly I’m going to do it up right.”

M.E.- “Please stop! I need to get on with this. I promised today we would take an in depth look at Drs. Gary and Ruth Namies’ “Screaming Mimi” bullying leadership style….


M.E.-Well, actually Mr. Bully Boss you did--or at least working for you put me on this path. I just think others need to know they are not alone. And why, by the way, do you treat me so unjustly and disrespectfully?”

Mr. B.B.-Hello! Honey- I’m an insecure, narcissistic jerk,. I can barely contain my terror of losing control. That’s why I pick public places to humiliate people who work for me. It makes me feel powerful, remember?! That’s why I scream. I like to see people squirm.”

M.E. (perkily)- Oh! Thanks for clearing that up! Hmmmm…..I wonder what effective leadership looks like……..?

(Cue for Captain Effective Leader’s entrance)

C.E.L.- Kim, Great job on this blog! It’s evident you’ve put a lot of work into this. I am learning a lot. Thank you.

M.E. (to M.Y.self)- wow…….

Next up- Mr. Bully Boss will introduce us to The Two Headed Snake. I'm thinking of posting each Sunday.  OK with you?

Until then,


12:21 pm edt          Comments

Monday, July 18, 2011

Getting Specific...and still having fun!
Good Morning Everyone!

When I left that weird other worldly, "what's wrong with me?" hell of workplace bullying, I got some help.  Got a little stronger.  Did some research.  I found this-and it worked for me: that there are, according to Drs. Gary and Ruth Namie of the Institute of Workplace Bullying, basically four kinds of bully bosses. The Screaming Mimi, The Constant Critic, The Two Headed Snake and The Gate Keeper.  WOW! Just to see someone putting names to my awful experience gave me hope.  This, coupled with my knowledge of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program and its circle-and its application to my torturous two years, has completely invigorated me-and has me on a mission to EDUCATE others-particularly in schools.  Honestly, we will never truly keep kids safe from bullying with bullies running schools.  And.....now even our salaries will be big time tied to principals' evaluations of us!  Talk about power trip potential

So, how are we going to go about this?  Hey, I am also about having fun!  So, let's take each of the Drs. Namies' bullies and, along with the help of Mr. Bully Boss and Captain Effective Leader, explore his characteristics.  Ok with you?

Next up- The Screaming Mimi...or shall we do the Two Headed Snake?  They're all just so wonderful!!!! Smile

Until next time, have an amazing and "bullying free" day! 


7:58 am edt          Comments

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Click here for my district's bullying and harassment policy. You will see I have made comments....