Perspective. Healing.
Ten years. Lots of prayers. I practice simply holding
my former principal in my mind's light. I want to love him, for surely he needs that. Ten years. It's taken
me a long time to even hold him in my mind without bitterness. Hold, actually, school board members and a school superintendent
in my mind's quiet. To write here and now--simply write the words--that they know him. They know his history of
abuse. They allow it to continue.
These are simple truths.
I
have, in the past, written of their knowledge. Yet the words are very different for me now. Then they were wounded and
scared words. Pleading for help. Now they just are. They just are truth. There is no emotion wrapped
around those words. No fear and outrage. No blame.
No bitterness. For
I no longer suffer. Still, it's taken a long time to get here.
Today I picture him. I
quietly allow him to rest in my mind. I surround him with light. This is important for me. I have allowed
my suffering. I have allowed him to control me and my emotions. I want to be at peace with him. And so. There
he is in my mind's light. I hold him there, still. His arms at his sides. Hands open.
I feel sadness for him. For certainly he is an unhappy man. Insecure. Vulnerable. And it is
my nature to help. I want to help him. If he reads A Piece Full World, I want him to know I forgive him. I
wonder if that helps. If he feels any remorse at all about what he has done. To me. To so many others.
"Mr. O, you are important to me. You are important in ways different than when we met. Then
you were my boss. In 2009 I quickly understood my vulnerability under your leadership. Now in 2019, I understand
yours."
I write for those bullied educators just entering the common and sick arena of bullying
cronyism in schools. It is frightening, I know. It may mean so many losses for you. But what has put you in this
arena is your integrity. Your honor. Your courage.
And the truth.